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Set-Pieces - The TRUST Triangle    By Julian Carosi.
(A series of articles on how to officiate in a proactive way by improving how you deal with specific incidents and how to become a better Referee).                       

Considerations on how to establish a rapport with players by gaining their trust via the TRUST triangle.  These ideas are not prescriptive; rather, they will hopefully give you some new things to think about, and encourage you towards adopting a consistent approach by dovetailing them into your own style of refereeing. 

The TRUST Triangle

Building a Rapport by contemplating the TRUST triangle.

The ability to establish a rapport with players, and to gain their trust, is one of the most important assets of an astute Referee. It enables him to unconsciously interact with the participants of a game. To enable a Referee to function efficiently requires him to gradually build a rapport with the players. Some Referees believe that all you have to do to build up a rapport is to flash a few smiles at players, be their friend and let them have what they want from time to time. 

If only it was that easy! Rapport and gaining trust, is the ability to be on the same wavelength as the players around you - in other words, being in sync.

In technical terms, this is sometimes known as neuro-linguistic programming, originally used in psychotherapy, but now widely used in business communication, management training, teaching, executive coaching and motivational seminars etc. Amongst other things, it is the ability to clarify (and make positive use of) what has been left out or distorted in everyday communication/life. For example, the ability for the listener to fill in the gaps by making their own meaning from what is being said, and being able to find your own solutions by using your inner resources and experience. It is also the ability to challenge and reframe irrational behaviour, so that incidents can be dealt with in a controlled and acceptable fashion that brings order and trust back onto the field of play.

By changing the way an incident is perceived, (reframed) responses and behaviours will also change. For example, if a player commits a robust (bordering on a reckless) challenge, the Referee could have a stern word with the perpetrator, and point out to him that whilst a game of football does involve a reasonable amount of bodily contact, challenges such as the one made by the perpetrator, are more akin to the desire to inflict injury, rather than a tactic to win a game of football. The Referee's approach here, is to try and get the perpetrator to reframe the outcome of his irrational behaviour so that he sees it as a bad thing, rather than a manly thing. 
And from a Referee's perspective, when a player deliberately leaves the field of play for treatment without having received the Referee's permission (whilst this is a cautionable offence in terms of the Laws), the (reframed) response from the Referee could be one of understanding, rather than seeming to be a Law abiding dictator by issuing a yellow card.

To gain the trust of players requires you to be capable of using the best parts of your ability and experience to manage expected and unexpected situations. 
Are you capable of anchoring each situation by using your positive states such as calmness, assertiveness, attitude, openness and confidence to help you deal with incidents? It's no good trying to manage a melee of players if you are nervous; you will need to use other traits that have served you well in the past - maybe your ability to use your whistle to focus the minds of the perpetrators. 

For a Referee, building rapport requires many techniques, such as being able to match your body language to the game's tempo (i.e., posture, gesture, and so forth); being able (and brave enough) to maintain eye contact; and having an empathy with the type of game being played. Once a report with players has been established, it becomes much easier to take extremely effective intervention when dealing with a difficult situation. Before you can do that, you have to establish a feeling of harmonious connection between yourself and the teams that you are officiating.

[Grinder and Bandler]: "You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behaviour. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviours to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want..."

It is the ability to be proactive (rather than reactive), and the ability not to get bogged down with formalized fixed beliefs and behaviours that can sometimes produce well-formed outcomes.

So how can all of this help you to become a better Referee? Let's look at the simple [TRUST] triangle model below. This explains the build up of layers that make up a Referee's path towards rapport and trust. The idea of this article is not so much about explaining how trust is established, but more on looking at it as a series of building blocks; all of which need to be in place to establish a successful rapport. When control is lost in a game, it is usually because the Referee has been unable to fully implement one of the lower layers. If the particular reason for players losing trust is identified, a Referee can refocus his attention on rebuilding that particular aspect of rapport that is wanting, thereby regaining respect from the players. In other words, rapport is not just something that will come automatically; it is a series of interlinked abilities and events that conjoin to produce the end product TRUST. If you can understand the totality of this concept, than it becomes much easier for you to use it to its maximum effect, and to rebuild a damaged layer it if it goes awry. 

O Trust A
P T
E Rapport with players T
N I
N Umbrage, Emotions, Feelings and Opinions T
E U
S Scrutiny, Information, Application, Interpretation and Facts D
S E
. Tribal Rituals, i.e. pre-match and during match established practices .


Before we look at the specific layers of the TRUST triangle in more detail, it is important to note that gaining the TRUST of the players and building (and maintaining) a rapport with them is supported by the ability to approach and officiate each game with the right ATTITUDE. 

OPPENNESS is also required to achieve maximum performance. 

ATTITUDE represents a Referee's like or dislike for the role that he has in a particular game. He can approach the game in a positive, negative or neutral way. Or he can be ambivalent (just going through the motions) by simultaneously possessing a positive and a negative attitude towards the game. It is the latter attitude that can very often be seen! And the most difficult to snap out of!
Most attitudes seen in Referees are simply a result of how they feel on the day, their commitment, their interest, their well-being and their sense of duty. Nobody feels in perfect condition every single day of their life, so it's no small wonder that Referees (like everyone else) have bad days at the office from time to time. When a Referee has a bad game, his poor rapport with the teams will also have been in evidence. Attitude is a very easy state to discern. It is therefore very important that Referees do as much as they can to project a positive attitude in all aspects of their game. Even when you are feeling down, it is still possible to project an outward attitude of positiveness. It is the ability to maintain a stable positive attitude that makes a good Referee stand out.

A Referee, who is aware, alive and reactive moment by moment, with what is going on around him, is able to respond to situations instantly rather than by analysing every minute detail. 

OPENNESS is about how well (and how wisely) you use your experience to manage the game. Do you have a tendency toward a vivid imagination? Do you appreciate the skill of the players? Are you receptive to the emotional state of he players and do you value (and use) your own emotional experiences? Are you prepared to improve by trying new techniques and methods of Refereeing? Are you intellectually curious and open to new ideas? Or are you the type who sticks with what they know? 

And finally, are you ready to re-examine traditional methods and values of Refereeing by self-assessing each game after it has been completed? A progressive Referee sees difficult situations as a chance to learn something new, rather than seeing them as an intractable future problem. Competent Referees seem to be wired-in to each game, and work with great precision, purpose, and skill.
The ability to keep trying different solutions until a suitable method is found to change an approach to a particular situation is an important part of self-assessment. Can you do it?

Let's now look at the TRUST triangle in detail, starting at the foundation. 

Tribal Rituals, i.e. pre-match and during match established practices.

The first level in the TRUST triangle includes the ability to know what you are supposed to be doing. This embraces your knowledge of the Laws. 

Ask yourself, "When was the last time that you actually sat down and read the 17 Laws?" 

It only takes an error of Law application, for your credibility to tumble down in a heap during a game. If you don't have a grasp of the very basic knowledge required, then how can you expect to gain any rapport with players? Find a copy of the Law book, and read it from time to time. You'll be surprised at what you have forgotten! 

There are many other pre-match rituals, which if done professionally and promptly, will add stability to your frame of mind, and thereby increases your ability to form a good relationship with players. For example, dealing with correspondence promptly; communicating with Club Officials in a friendly and natural fashion; arriving early, completing a thorough field of play inspection, checking the balls and the team sheets etc etc… If you arrive late, are surly towards the Club Officials, do not complete a field of play inspection, and show no interest in anything apart from collecting your fee, how can you expect to gain the trust of the players? You can't. 

Players are used to being dealt with in certain ways. If during the game you resort to (completely) non-standard Refereeing techniques, it will be very difficult for you to gain the trust of players. Look at how your peers deal with difficult situations. There are certain tried and tested methods of isolating players; disciplining techniques and positioning advice to be had. Attend Referee training sessions, and read as much as you can about the art of Refereeing. There are many books to be had; biographies and technical manuals. And in each one, you will find at least one thing that will make you a better Referee. All of the top Referees did not get there just by turning up each week with a whistle; they achieved their success by commitment and effort. If you want promotion, then you need to be sincere about wanting it. 

To summarise; the base (first level) of the TRUST triangle is the foundation for everything that you achieve in a game. Before you can deal with the emotions and the unexpected, you need a very strong foundation of (what can be best described as) the basics; a thorough understanding of the Laws and a professional approach to every game. For without these two facets, there can be no rapport with players. If you can get the (Law) facts right in a game, then the players will more readily accept those difficult decisions that you will need to make. 


Scrutiny, Information, Application and Interpretation:

The second level of the TRUST triangle includes the ability to understand and react to situations. The ability to be efficient comes with experience and wisdom. A Referee must be able to be in "sync" with the game. This enables him to react (or be proactive) when the temperature of a game heats up. There are many techniques that can be used such as temporarily applying zero advantage when tempers are frayed. This enables the Referee to regain control of a feisty game. 

As soon as a Referee steps onto the field of play, he will come under intense scrutiny from the players, Club Officials and the spectators. One team or the other will dispute many of the decisions that he makes. Spectators will harangue the Referee if he does not favour their team. Managers will hurl abuse from time to time. If a Referee focuses too much on the criticism that he is receiving, he can lose his focus. Sometimes, a Referee's intense focus can obliterate outside interference if it does not relate to the actual moment in the game itself. It is important therefore, that from time to time, the Referee should make himself aware of what is going on around the surrounds of the field of play, and not ignore the types of bad behaviour emanating from the Technical Areas that we see and hear in nearly every single game. 

Information received from the players themselves is also an important part of the game's overall communication. Very often, when a player shouts in agony, it is often the result of a bad challenge. When a Referee is unsure if a tackle is a foul or not, he must not dismiss from his decision-making radar, any reactions from the players. In other words, use all the communication available to make a decision. In general, players are not cheats, and will respond the same as anyone else if transgressed upon. A Referee who ignores all (or never takes into account) pleas by the players, will never gain their trust or achieve a rapport with them in a game.

There is also them-and-us attitude that prevails between players and Referees. It is as if Referees are the enemy, when in effect, they are as much lovers of the game as the players are; sometimes more so. This is why it is very important that Referees take their responsibilities seriously as guardians of the game. But it is no fun being under intense scrutiny, when everything you do is magnified (and comes under the microscope). 

Interpretation of the Laws is also a major factor in building up a rapport with players. The Laws are written in such a way that the Referee is able to interpret them for the benefit of the game. A Referee who officiates solely by the book will not be very popular with the teams, and will find it hard to achieve a rapport with the players. Conversely, a Referee who uses common sense to officiate in such a way, that he manages the game within the Spirit of the Laws (rather than the Letter of the Laws), will quickly gain the trust of the player and establish a good rapport with them.


Umbrage, Emotions, Feelings and Opinions:

The next level towards gaining the trust of the players, is the ability for a Referee to manage and control anger, hatred, and attitudes etc. 
The most important aspect of this level is to appreciate that if a Referee does not establish a capability in the lower levels of the TRUST triangle, then he cannot expect to be successful in managing irate players and Club Officials. 

In other words, if a Referee has prepared for the game in a professional and capable manner, and has shown the players that he is capable of applying and interpreting the Laws in a flexible way that is in sync with the way that the game is being played, then the players will more readily accept his advice when tempers become frayed. This is a very important concept for a Referee to consider. For a Referee to be credible, he has to work bloody hard to gain respect. And the hard work, is not so much how good he is in sorting out a melee of players, but how good he is in the basic art of Refereeing i.e. doing all the right basic things at basically the right time. The credibility bit comes later!

Let us now look at two examples: 

Example 1: 
Referee No. 1 arrives late for a Cup Final. His preparations are rushed and his enthusiasm for the game is wanting. The game begins, and after 5 minutes have elapsed, he awards a penalty kick from some 50 yards away. He completely ignores his Assistant Referee's attempts to communicate something to him, and issues two instant yellow cards to defending players who run up to him in protest. The Assistant Referee was trying to communicate to the Referee, that the incident occurred outside of the penalty area, and therefore should have been a direct free kick and not a penalty kick. The Referee is also totally oblivious to the fact that, because of his lack of fortitude, poor man-management capability and negative attitude, he is now looked down upon and ridiculed by all of the players.
The penalty is scored and the game remains at 1-0 until the final minute when the Referee awards a penalty to the losing team. All hell lets loose. The winning team, havening realised from the first penalty kick, that the Referee is incompetent (i.e. cannot to be trusted and has no credibility), angrily crowd round him in an attempt nullify the decision. The Referee makes no effort to deal with (and punish where necessary) the emotions and bad behaviour of the players. The game eventually has to be abandoned because of the anger shown, and because of the potential of physical danger.

Example 2.
Referee No. 2 arrives early for his Cup Final game. He greets the Club Officials with a smile and prepares himself in a professional manner. His enthusiasm for the game shines out from his body language and from his positive attitude. As the game begins, he works very hard to make sure that all of his early decisions are correct. He has also instilled this ethos into his Assistant Referees during his pre-match brief to them. In the 5th minute he sprints to keep up with an attacking move, and is only a matter of 10 yards away when he awards a direct free kick the edge of the penalty area. He looks over to his active Assistant Referee who nods in agreement with the decision; this is notice by several players. The Referee's strong whistle, the closeness to play and his confident stance, minimises the trouble that could have ensued had he been much further away when making his decision. The decision is accepted and a goal is scored from the free kick. 
The game remains at 1-0 until the final minute when (from 15 yards away and a good angle of view) the Referee awards a penalty to the losing team. Whilst there is some dispute (as there is with all penalty kick decisions) there is hardly any misbehaviour of serious concern for the Referee to deal with. A goal is scored from the penalty kick and the game goes into extra time with no trouble.

The two examples above are probably similar contrasting incidents experience by most Referees at one time or another in their careers. In fact, it could be said that Referee No. 1 and Referee No. 2 are the same Referee. But the Referee has learnt from his mistake in his first game! He has realised that to enable him to have any chance of dealing effectively with Umbrage, Emotions, Feelings and Opinions emanating from the players, he needs to inject some enthusiasm into his performance and he needs to have the right attitude. For it is only when this has been achieved, that the Referee will be able to move up to the next layer of the TRUST triangle, to establish a Rapport with players.

Rapport with players.

The penultimate layer of the TRUST triangle involves maintaining a rapport by consistency of performance and maintaining maximum concentration. By this stage of the game, the Referee will have adjusted to the tempo, and flexed his style of officiating to be in sync with the game. He can now relax a bit, and start enjoying the game.

The penultimate rapport level can be achieved much quicker
· If the early decisions in a game are creditable.
· If the players can see, that although the Referee is not perfect (who is?) he is (at least) trying very hard to do things right, and quickly learning from his mistakes.
· If the Referee is prepared to understand, that whilst he may wish to be friends with all of the players, his role is the guardian of the Spirit of the Laws. And as such, his focus should be in guiding the players towards enjoying their game, by using tried and tested Refereeing techniques, rather than trying to please everyone. 

Trust.
It's hard work getting to the top of the Trust triangle. You need to get to the top in every game that you officiate. There will be times that the game will start to slip away from your control. When this happens, you need to go down the Trust triangle layers and re-establish your credibility once again. You may need to do this several times in a feisty game. Whilst there will always be differences of opinion, if you keep doing the basics right (i.e. Law application/interpretation, using standard Referee techniques, having a positive attitude etc.) trust and rapport will eventually be achieved (or re-achieved).

If you have managed to reach this part of the article, well done! It might have taken you quite a while to grasp the concept of the Trust triangle, but it happens in every game and is really quite easy to understand. 

Do the easy things well,
And the hard things will be accepted.
Do the easy things badly, 
And the hard things will be rejected.


The aim of this article was to try and make you think about where your priorities lie as a Referee. Should you spend hours and hours of your time trying to perfect man-management techniques that are reactive, or will your time be better spent improving your proactive approach to the game and your knowledge on how to better apply and interpret the Laws? 
If you can focus on the latter path from time to time in your career, you might find that the difficult things seem to get much easier, and players will accept your decisions more than they perhaps did in the past. 

Happy reffing.